Mad Dog Quotes

“If you ain’t cheatin you ain’t trying.”

“Winning isn’t everything, It’s the only thing.”

“There is no crying in the baseball, so there is no crying in the LRSD.”

“Get Back Skippy Boo, Get Back.”

Mad Dog Facts

    1. Mad Dog can kill two Birds with one stone.
    2. Mad Dog doesn’t sleep. He waits.
    3. Mad Dog did in fact, build Rome in a day.
    4. If you have five dollars and Mad Dog has five dollars, Mad Dog has more money than you.
    5. Mad Dog counted to infinity - twice.
    6. Mad Dog once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter.
    7. Count from one to ten. That’s how long it would take Mad Dog to kill you… Forty seven times.
    8. In Desert Storm the reason why the Iraqi army surrendered so quickly because they knew Mad Dog was coming.
    9. Mad Dog once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.
    10. There are no weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq. Mad Dog lives in Pennsylvania.
    11. Mad Dog is the reason Waldo is hiding.
    12. Mad Dog can sneeze with his eyes opened.
    13. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Mad Dog
    14. Mad Dog can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
    15. Mad Dog once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
    16. There is in fact an “I” in Diaperdandy, but there is no “team”… not even close.
    17. Mad Dog doesn’t play god. Playing is for children.
    18. Mad Dog doesn’t miss shots if he doesn’t hit you take it as a warning.
    19. Superman’s weakness is kryptonite. Mad Dog has no weaknesses.
    20. If you Google search “Mad Dog getting his ass kicked” you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.
    21. Mad Dog doesn’t believe in Germany.
    22. Mad Dog cannot love, he can only not kill.
    23. If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Mad Dog.
    24. He is known as Mad Dog, not only because he can smell fear, but because he can piss on whatever he wants.
    25. Whoever said “Only the good die young” was probably in Mad Dog’s kindergarten class.
    26. Fear is not the only emotion Mad Dog can smell. He can also detect hope, as in “I hope I don’t get my ass kicked from Mad Dog.”
    27. Mad Dog destroyed the periodic table, because Mad Dog only recognizes the element of surprise.
    28. When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Mad Dog.